If you’ve never spent hours mentally paralyzed on the couch neither relaxing nor productive, insurmountable to-do list looping in your brain, plagued by guilt – then this is not the topic for you. For the rest of us, task paralysis, also referred to as ADHD paralysis or executive dysfunction, is all too familiar. It’s an overwhelm shut-down process characterized by the inability to start or continue tasks. This can be due to mental illness, overstimulation, burn out, or stress. For me, it was a combination.
Task paralysis made me feel inadequate. Why can’t I just get the things done? Why am I so lazy? The honest truth is: that’s not who I am. I only know this now that I’m not glued to the couch. I discovered for myself the relief a clutter free, organized space had on my anxiety years ago and it has become my passion. But cleaning, that is a very different skill and living in a house that I can’t consistently keep clean mentally paralyzes me, leading to anxiety and bouts of depression. All the work I’ve done for my mental health deteriorates quickly if I’m not proactively taking care of myself; one main way that I do that is by scheduling bi-weekly housecleaning services.
For reference, I’m not fancy. Oooh, am I not fancy.
My husband and I have five kids in our 1,250 square foot home and being that it’s small it is not a lot of space to clean but it can get bad really quickly. I was embarrassed when I first decided that this was my plan, to take our modest income and use it pay someone to clean our not fancy house. I had this idea that my home wasn’t up to par with what a housekeeper would deem worthy of the service, although that seems so silly now. I was also worried that neighbors or extended family might find out and think I’m frivolous or again… lazy. Turns out, no one really cares.
The Ultimate Self-Care
My home is now the cleanest it’s ever been, but that’s not the main perk. Hiring help has been the antidote to the mental hell that was task paralysis for me. Taking care of myself in this way has paid off exponentially and I want that for you. Here are the top five benefits I’ve experienced leading to a healthier mind:
- I have a deadline. Procrastination with no deadline is terrible for my anxiety. Knowing that the cleaners are coming means I must do my part of tidying up before they come. They don’t know where my things go, so the pickup and put away is on me. I go around looking for trash, take laundry out of the rooms, do the dishes, etc. The deadline keeps the tasks that are still on my plate from piling up to the point of no return – which would land me back on the couch in an overwhelmed daze. Instead, I welcome the deadline, a gentle kick in my pants to get it done while it’s still manageable.
- It calms the “task noise”. I do my part (tidy), they do their part (clean). And then there’s a magical time – when everything is done. And I can have an intentional relax. Drink the tea and taste it. Not sitting on my couch in overwhelm, but simply relishing the fact that everything is crossed off that mental list I was carrying around. I don’t know what else I can say about this, but when you feel it you’ll know. It is the exact opposite of task paralysis and it is heavenly.
- Less triggers. The endless to-do list of household chores can easily trigger mood swings for me. Already exhausted by life, when my eyes would catch yet another cleaning task to add to the long list in my head – I could quickly become irritable. Now that I have cleaning services scheduled, I am able to calm the triggers by anticipating the next service. When I start to feel the overwhelm creep up, I remind myself that my daily chores are manageable and everything else happens on a two-week rotation with help.
- I can go deeper. My energy tends to come in waves and now that the house cleaning schedule is set, when moments of time combined with ambition reveal themselves – I deep clean, declutter, decorate or get creative – without guilt. I no longer feel pressure to finish a long list of cleaning tasks (and ultimately exhausting myself) before enjoying the dopamine rush of finishing a fun project.
- I am proving to myself that I am worthy. The house will get dirty again, and even if no visitors will come notice it in all its sparkling glory – I invest in this routine for myself anyway. This is good practice for living in the moment and prioritizing how I genuinely feel: in my home, in relationships, and in how I choose to use my energy.
If you have the means, I encourage you to explore this type of service. If you have been waiting for some kind of permission – I wrote this for you.
